Scripture speaking volumes

A dreaded moment in my life happened this past Friday. I have known for over 18 years that I wanted to serve others as a missionary and that would mean leaving my family. Well the rubber met the road just 3 days ago. My parents were in CO for 2 weeks during Christmas. We had a wonderful time together, but then we had to say goodbye.

How do you go about saying goodbye to someone you love so dearly for possibly 4 years? What does that look like? What words ease any of the pain?

My wonderful God-fearing parents, Jon & Mary Langlois

Well I'm not going to describe our parting because frankly...it was sad. But I want to describe to you how the Lord spoke to me in the hours after that hard goodbye. I went into my bedroom (the basement) and wept and Wept and WEPT. I turned to my devotional for the day, My Utmost for His Highest, Jan 1. As I read, I knew those words were for me. The Lord was speaking through scripture to me for just that time.... the words read:

My Utmost for His Highest. "...my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing I shall be ashamed..." (Phil. 1:20) We will all feel very much ashamed if we do not yield to Jesus the areas of our lives He has asked us to yield to Him. It's as if Paul were saying, "My determined purpose is to be my utmost for His highest-- my best for His glory." To reach that level of determination is a matter of the will, not of debate or of reasoning. It is absolute and irrevocable surrender of the will at that point. An undue amount of thought and consideration for ourselves is what keeps us from making that decision, although we cover it up with the pretense that it is others we are considering. When we think seriously about what it will cost others if we obey the call of Jesus, we tell God He doesn't know what our obedience will mean. Keep to the point--He does know. Shut out every other thought and keep yourself before God in this one thing only--my utmost for His highest. I am determined to be absolutely and entirely for Him and Him alone.


Then I tried to sleep. I woke up with puffy eyes and still pondering my goodbye and what God showed me through His word. I opened up My Utmost for His Highest anticipating what He was going to show me today....and He did it again. Read the entry for Jan. 2....

Will you God without knowing? "He went out, not knowing where he was going" (Heb. 11:8) Have you ever "gone out" in this way? If so, there is no logical answer possible when anyone askes you what you are doing. One of the most difficult questions to answer in Christian work is, "What do you expect to do?" You don't know what you are going to do. The only thing you know is that God knows what He is doing. Continually examine your attitude toward God to see if you are willing to "go out" in every area of your life, trusting in God entirely. It is this attitude that keeps you in constant wonder, because you don't know what God is going to do next. Each morning as you wake, there is a new opportunity to "go out," building your confidence in God. "...do not worry about your life...nor about the body.." (Luke 12:22). In other words, don't worry about the things that concerned you before you did "go out."

Have you been asking God what He is going to do? He will never tell you. God does not tell you what He is going to do--He reveals to you who He is. Do you believe in a miracle-working God, and will you "go out" in complete surrender to Him until you are not surprised one iota by anything He does?

Believe God is always the God you know Him to be when you are nearest to him. Then think how unnecessary and disrepectful worry is! Let the attitude of your life be a continual willingness to "go out" in dependence upon God, and your life will have a sacred and inexpressible charm about it that is very satisfying to Jesus. You must learn to "go out" through your convictions, creeds, or experiences until you come to the point in your faith where there is nothing between yourself and God.


Lord- Thank you for speaking truth into my heart by Your Word. You are good. My heart still aches, but I want You more than anything else. Lord, ease the pain in my parent's heart. Speak to them through Your Word. May we all strive to know you more and "go out" to do what you ask of us.